What do we do when our mothers are gone?

Mothers's Day was never special, until now.
This year is the first without Mom.

My husband said, "We have no mothers," and though our relationships with them were far from perfect, we gazed in dumbstruck wonder at this incomprehensible reality.

Wanting to write a Mother's Day tribute, I watched videos of her, and felt a vice close around my heart.  I stared at the screen, hands heavy and still.

Then I heard the familiar pop signaling a friend's greeting in the Facebook chat room.  It was Shelley, a survivor sister, wishing me a happy Mother's Day.  It made me cry.  She understood. She made me laugh, too.

She gave me mother comfort.

Reminding me that no matter how good or weak our mothers might be, they can never fill every need.  Some leave patches of pain for us to mend, while others leave fathomless holes in our hearts.  All of these wounds of unmet need remain for us to comfort ourselves.

But not by ourselves.

In the eyes and arms and words of others with love, even mother love, to give.

Thank you Shelley.

Thank you, Mom.

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